He Knows....

Music has always been something that I really connect with and can really pierce into my heart and soul.  I really believe God can speak to us through music, at least I know He does for me.  Hearing the right song at the right time can lift my spirits, or confirm or deny something I've been praying for.  A song can remind me of so many of God's attributes.  And music is one way I really connect with God in worship.  I heard a song a couple weeks ago just a day or two after my heartbreaking situation I last wrote about that brought me to tears when I heard it.  It was almost as if God played that song right then just for me!  It was the song "He Knows" by Jeremy Camp.  Here it is...go ahead and listen...I'll wait...

Good stuff...huh!?  That song reminded me in those dark moments that God knew and knows at all times everything that I'm going through.  Nothing is a surprise to Him!!  In those days immediately following my heartbreak that song brought me much comfort and hope!!  Now when I hear the song it not only brings comfort and hope, but also such joy that I can rest easy no matter what my situation is because God knows and is in control!!  Jesus walked through the suffering and hurt that we go through; He knows what it is to lose a friend, He knows what it feels like to feel sorrow and joy!!  The line "You barely have the strength to pray" is one that really hit me.  How often have you just felt so broken and weary that you didn't even have the strength or will to pray?  That's ok because He already knows our needs before we even do!  Then that last part...it really got me!!  "Every time that you feel forsaken, Every time that you feel alone, He is near to the broken-hearted, Every tear, He knows..." Every tear!!  He knows every single tear we cry, and He wants to be the One to wipe away those tears with his loving embrace!! This song is just a simple reminder of God's all knowing, comforting heart for us!  I hope that maybe by sharing this song it can be an encouragement for someone else as it has been for me these past few weeks!  Just remember...He Knows!!!

Uganda bound...(When God makes lemonade out of a very lemony situation!)

It's hard to know where to even begin. I'm going to have to be pretty vulnerable and as we all know that can be quite scary...so bear with me if this seems as though I'm rambling or something. I have been dying to go back to Uganda since I returned from my last trip. My heart is there in so many ways, but over the last year or so it began to grow there in a way I hadn't really anticipated. I have made a lot of friends over there during my trips, but one of those friendships was just different from the very beginning. Without going into many details, this friendship developed into more and I began to develop feelings I haven't really felt before. (In case you haven't figured it out by now...yes...it was a man.) We talked nearly everyday, we shared our hopes and dreams, and we shared a vision of what the future could look like. I prayed about this relationship and friendship, and I began to feel like I needed to take the next step and return to Uganda in order to really see where this really might go. He begged me to come visit too, so when I was finally able to schedule some time off next month I bought a plane ticket. I was so excited for what this trip could bring, not only was I finally going to be back on that Ugandan soil, but I would be there with someone who had become one of my best friends and someone I could envision a future with! We began making plans and talking about how excited we were to be able to spend some quality time together. I was so excited! I didn't really share about the trip because we didn't want it to be a big deal. So I kept my excitement mostly to myself and my family and a few close friends. Then the bomb dropped...long story-short I found out very abruptly that this man I had given my heart to was not at all who I thought he was, and that much (if not all) of what he was telling me about his feelings for me were a lie!! He betrayed me and hurt me in a way that is almost inexplicable! I was crushed!! My heart shattered into a million tiny piece!! I was hurt, angry, heartbroken, and honestly a little dumbfounded! And then the realization that I had this plane ticket set in. What was I going to do now?? It was less than 4 weeks before I was supposed to leave and the plane ticket was nonrefundable!! I had no idea if I could even make new arrangements and accommodations this short notice. I felt completely at a loss and that I would probably have to just eat the cost of the ticket. Thankfully, though, I have some great friends who encouraged me not to give up. I began to pray that God would open new doors if I was still supposed to go on this trip, and I tried to just trust in His plans. So, I reached out to a few people to see if they had any ideas or tips on what to do. One of these friends came to my rescue in a huge way!! She has a ministry and offered to get a trip together for me!! I get to go visit and work at the children's homes my babies Bobby and Norah are at!! It was most definitely a huge answer to prayer and obviously a God thing!! I was and still am SO incredibly grateful!! God took this situation that was completely heartbreaking and seemed so hopeless, and turned it into an opportunity for me to love on my sweet sponsor babies and visit with some dear friends! I am so grateful for God's provision and faithfulness through all of this. His plans really are better than ours, and I'm excited to see how He uses this trip to continue to teach me that!! The trip will be here before I know it, and I am so looking forward to being back in that beautiful country that has completely stolen my heart!!