Going Home...

Today I spent most of the day doing things to get ready for my trip back to Uganda.  This morning I had an appointment at a travel health clinic to get a prescription for my antimalarial medication and ended up having a really great conversation with the girl that runs the clinic.  It was so fun to meet someone who really was a complete stranger but so interested in my trip and excited to hear about it!  Then, this afternoon and evening I went shopping with my mom for some last minute items I needed for the trip.  We even picked up a couple little things to take to Bobby!  This day has been full of getting things ready and as I have been preparing for this trip I have been feeling more and more as if I am getting ready to go home!  I know that may seem weird to a lot of you, but this huge piece of my heart is there and I feel like I'm going back to where my heart is!  Please don't think that I don't love it here and love my family and friends here, because that is just not the case!!  My heart is here with my family too!!  But, ever since leaving Uganda almost a year ago now I have not felt as "at home" here.  Almost as if my heart is split in two and it will never be the same again!!  I know I will probably leave an even bigger piece of my heart there this time so forgive me friends if it takes me awhile to get back to "normal" here.  I can't wait to put my feet back on that red soil and once again see some of the people who have changed my life forever!!  I am so excited to see what God has in store this time and how He will continue to wreck my life in a beautiful way because of those beautiful people and that beautiful country!! 

Ten days and counting...

I leave for Uganda in 10 days!!  Yes...just 10 days!!  While I'm really excited, I have been feeling a whole range of emotions the last few days!!  Everything from excitement to sadness and extreme nerves!  Why would I be sad when I have been looking forward to this trip for so long?  As you may remember there was a little girl, Rose, I really connected with on my last trip to Uganda.  As I've been thinking about going back and preparing I've been thinking a lot about Rose!!  The thing that I am sad about is that I won't be able to see her when I go back this time!  I miss her, and her beautiful smile and vibrant personality!  The fact that I will be so close and yet not be able to see her breaks my heart!  I pray that she knows I haven't forgotten her and that she knows how much she is loved!  I pray she learns to know our Savior and His love most of all, and I hope she saw His love through me those few days we spent together!

 

The nerves have been kicking in a lot the last few days too!  I'm nervous I will compare this trip to my last one and it won't "measure up", or it will be more and I'll forget things about my previous trip.  And, while I cannot wait to see Bobby and wrap my arms around that sweet baby I am also very nervous about seeing Bobby again...excited, but very nervous!  I've had all these thoughts going through my head like "what if he doesn't like me?" or "what if he's afraid of me?" or "what if the connection I think and hope is there isn't?".  I was talking to a couple friends last night and tonight about all my fears and they both had some great words of encouragement!  First, in response to some of these nerves and fears my dear friend had these wise words to say: "That's your chance to show him Christ love for him and your love for him. How many times does do we turn our backs on the comfort our Father wants to give us. I think if you focus on sharing the love of Christ no matter what you won't be disappointed."  What a great way to look at it!!  It's not about Bobby loving me or having a response to me, it's about Him knowing Jesus through me and knowing God's love as a result (even in small part) of allowing God to love him through me!  What a great change in perspective!  My other friend gave me some great encouragement about the trip as well: "God has called you to Africa for a reason Kristin!  That very reason could be for Bobby, or it could be something else He reveals to you this trip!  The God of the universe has a HUGE thing for you!"  I'm so grateful for friends that speak truth like this into me and encourage me when I'm struggling or feeling unsure about things!! 

 

The thing that has been hard for me that I've been wrestling with knowing that this trip is coming up soon is knowing I will be gone during my nephew's open heart surgery.  God has clearly opened all the doors for this trip and made things happen to allow me to go that would not have fallen into place without His hand in it!  But, my heart still wants to be here for my nephew and my sister so badly!  I have prayed many, many prayers asking God to make it clear if I should cancel the trip, and He hasn't.  He has continued to whisper in my ear to just Trust HIM!  So, as hard as it will be to be half way around the world knowing my nephew is fighting through such a major surgery, I have to just lean on God's promises and Trust that He has Bryson in His perfect hands!!  I am sure that my heart will feel completely torn those last few days of my trip, but I have to also remember (as hard as it will be) that God has me in Africa for that specific time for a reason and I can't let my worry about my nephew hinder His work through me there!  So, friends...I'm asking you to come along side me and pray for me during this trip.  Pray for my spirit and that my worrisome nature won't get the best of me while I am in Uganda the day of my nephew's surgery.  Pray for the children and ministries I will be visiting!  Pray for Bobby and for him to know God a little bit more as I allow God to love him through me!  And finally, please pray for my nephew, my sister and brother-in-law, the rest of my family, and the doctors on that day of my nephew's surgery (Oct 17th) and the days following!  Thank you friends!!