I have my first home study visit this coming Tuesday, so I've been trying to get things ready in my house so that I can make the best impression possible. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous! In fact I'm feeling all sorts of emotions! Everything from excitement to fear, and everything in between. I'm happy that I've made it to this point in the process and that it's been progressing well up until now, but I'm also afraid and nervous that something could still happen to prevent this from becoming a reality. I just keep trying to lay all these fears and anxieties down at my Father's feet and allow His will to prevail no matter what that is, but to be honest it's hard sometimes. I'm human...I still have a hard time trusting at times, but I try to keep reminding myself that when I do trust Him, He is faithful and carries me through whatever circumstances I'm in!
As I've been getting things ready in my house, buying a few things here and there for the baby/kid rooms, cleaning and organizing, etc., I've actually started to allow myself to imagine what it might be like to have a little one in this home with me! I fold the cute little onesies and think about the little one that might someday wear them. I see the bed where I might be kneeling down to tuck a little boy or girl into bed for the night. I imagine what it will be like to hear the pitter patter of little feet on my squeaky hardwood floors. All these preparations for a little one I haven't even met yet, but my heart is already swelling with the love I want to show them! I am praying over this home, that whoever comes into my care will know they are safe and cherished and loved, not only by me, but more importantly by our Heavenly Father! All of these preparations have reminded me of how Jesus has gone before us to prepare a place for us too! What an awesome privilege it is to know the creator of the universe is preparing an eternal home just for me! I only hope that I can provide just a fraction of the kind of love God has for us to this little one I have yet to meet! Oh little one...I may not know who you are yet, but God does, and He is helping me prepare this earthly home just for you! I can't wait to meet you, and I promise I will love you well for however long you are in this home and beyond!!
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