Funny thing that grief...

Grief...it can sneak up on us when we least expect it! Like just now...it's been a nice relaxing winter Saturday in and I got quite a bit accomplished too...but for some reason just a little bit ago when I saw a sweet picture a friend posted on Facebook my mind immediately went to another sweet face that I miss so much sometimes it hurts!! You may not even know you are grieving until it sneaks up on you, but when it does it gets you to your core. Where does my grief come from you ask...it comes from the realization I've had that a door I so wanted to walk through no matter what it took seems to be closing...at least for now. And that friends makes my heart break into a million tiny little pieces! I should be happy, and I am, because God has opened some other really awesome doors this week. I got a job in my home town so I will eventually (when my lease is up) be moving back home! That means more time with family and more time with my new nephew due to arrive in March! But, unfortunately that door opening has also meant the closing of these other doors. My heart really is grieving over losing these possibilities! It grieves so much it hurts! I have a very special place in my heart for some very special children and I long to hold them in my arms again so badly and I can't! However, this grief is something that I know God can use. It hurts and I may not understand it, but just as John 16:20 says I know God can turn this grief to joy!
        "Very truly I tell you, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn to joy."
I have learned so much lately about how even in so much uncertainty God always has a plan! He may only reveal that plan to you in small doses, but He always has a perfect plan! Even in grief He has a plan! I don't understand it, I might never understand it, but what I can take comfort in even more than God having a plan for me and my life is that He has a perfect plan for those precious little ones I love so dearly!  So, even in my grief I will rejoice in that perfect plan! So see...Even in the few minutes it took to write this God has worked in me and started to turn this grief to joy. There may still be times the grief will sneak up on me, but He will always be there through it with me!