Grace in the Journey....

My foster care application and homestudy were officially submitted to the State for approval a week ago! I’ve spent this last week feeling so many different emotions, but despite the nerves and even fear, I am mostly just happy and really excited!! I can’t wait for this oh so quiet home to be filled with the sounds of a little one laughing, or cooing, or even crying! (Maybe ask me how I feel about that in a few months! Haha!) In some ways this journey has seemed like it has taken forever, but in other ways it has flown by!! It’s almost surreal that in as little as 3-4 weeks now I could potentially be licensed and get a call for a placement any time!

As the reality of having my foster care license and becoming a mom starts to get closer and closer, I’ve been thinking a lot about the journey that has brought me here. I’ve come to understand and accept that this journey is not normal...it’s not something that most people will understand. Choosing to become a single mom in the foster care world is not something people see everyday. I know it will be hard, and perhaps even misunderstood at times, but I wouldn’t want to be on any other journey right now!! It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve learned so much about myself, and the amazing Grace and Faithfulness of our God!

To be honest...a year ago I was not in a great place spiritually...I was struggling with a lot of hurt from “the church” and carrying a lot of bitterness.  I had pretty much stopped going to church other than occasionally watching a service online from the church I loved when I lived near Indianapolis.  Over time I would feel the Spirit tugging me back to Church and into communion with God, but many times I resisted.  But God continually persisted and pursued me and woke me up to His Grace and His Faithfulness in ways I could not have imagined! It was that gentle nudging from the Holy Spirit and God’s continual pursuit though some of those online sermons, the godly counsel of friends, and finally a book that led me back into His loving embrace and ultimately into this foster care journey.  I finally realized that carrying all of that bitterness and even anger wasn’t hurting anyone but myself!  I learned that once I let go of that bitterness and stopped trying to live life on my own terms and walked into the beautiful Grace he so generously offers, I would find joy and peace and a life I could not have imagined!!   The book I read is titled Grace is Greater by Kyle Idleman and friends, it did me in!! It wrecked me in such an amazing way!!  The words in that book were like a spring of water for my tired and thirsty soul!  It taught me not only how to humbly accept His Grace, but then also extend that Grace to others!!  The joy that is found in that Grace is like no other!!  Here are a couple excerpts I loved:


“We can all find ways to reach the conclusion that I’m not that bad, but in doing so we miss out on God’s great gift of grace. Until we recognize our need for grace, we won’t care about receiving it.”

“The worst thing that could happen is that you spend your life trying to outrun God because you think he’s chasing you to collect what you owe – when he’s really chasing you to give you what you could never afford.”

“God’s grace is compelling when explained but irresistible when experienced.”


It is only because of His pursuit and His Grace that I am even on this foster Care journey!!  I’m actually still pretty blown away that He chose me to do this!!  I’m humbled and honored!!  I’m just trying to be faithful and trust that He knows what he’s doing!!  I am choosing to walk obediently into the unknown and I can’t wait to see how it all unfolds!!  I have never felt more in the center of God’s calling and His will for my life than I do right now!!