In Awe...

I’m sitting here in my nursery thinking about how within just a few weeks (or even less) I could be sitting here rocking a little one to sleep, or tucking a little one into my “big kid” bed and I’m really in awe...In awe of how God has picked me to do this, in awe of how he started preparing me to do this long before I had even begun to consider it, and in awe of how much he loves me!  

It amazes me that God has chosen this journey for me sometimes! I kinda feel like Moses and the burning bush talking to God and saying “Me God!? Really!? Are you sure?!? I’m single remember!? I live in an old house, on one income, and I’m pushing 40! (Sigh) NOW is when you decide to make me a mom!?” And every time I have that little conversation in my head with God I just feel that little “voice” saying “Yep! Just trust me!”  So that’s what I’m doing! Stepping out of that nice sturdy boat to walk out on the choppy waters and I just have to keep my eyes on Him, because if I don’t this girl is going to drown quick!! (Wow...that was a quick transition in metaphors! haha)

The other crazy part of all this is how God has been preparing me for this for so long! Looking back on my life I know even my early days in the NICU as a brand new nurse learning to care for and calm babies affected by substance abuse, or rocking babies who didn’t have family visiting was all starting to prepare me for this journey. My trips to Africa where I learned my heart could love a baby with my whole heart the moment I met him!  The passion He placed in my heart for orphans, and vulnerable children and families. I had no idea at the time, but all these little things were preparing me for this foster care journey He has me on! 

Through all of this, I’m also learning and am just simply in awe of the amazing love He has for me! I can already feel the love in my heart growing for this child or children I haven’t even met yet! Sometimes I feel like my heart could explode with the love I feel growing inside me!! I may not be physically growing this child in my womb, but I feel as if they are growing inside me all the same!! And to know and realize that the love God has for me, and for these children is infinitely greater than what I will ever feel is just simply awe inspiring!!