This day has probably been one of the best days of my life thus far!! But before I explain...let me first rewind a bit.
The past couple weeks have been full of a million different thoughts and emotions. About three weeks ago my licensing specialist sent me a message saying that the state had reviewed my home study and foster care application and had a few more questions about some things. At the time she told me that this wasn't anything out of the ordinary and that it isn't unusual for the state to come back with some questions. I answered the questions to the best of my ability and obtained some more documentation and everything was re-submitted. About a week later I received a phone call from the licensing specialist and as soon as I saw it was her calling my heart started racing! I really thought and hoped that she was calling to tell me that the state had approved me and I was licensed, but the moment she spoke I could tell it wasn't good news. My heart immediately sank and I had that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that said this was not good at all. She proceeded to tell me that they were not ready to approve me and that they had more questions, pretty specific questions, about a few things before they would consider approving me. Without going into a lot of details, ultimately I would basically have to have a health professional write a letter on my behalf answering all of the state's questions and stating that they agree I am okay to foster. Getting this completed has not been easy. I have been very frustrated, felt like this was God was closing this door, and I began to lose hope. I was afraid to even pray for God's will because I was so sure I wouldn't like the answer! As of yesterday I was trying to be as hopeful as I could, but my will was nearly gone and I was pretty certain that even if we obtained the letter and documentation to re-submit it was still ultimately going to be a "No". I went to bed last night trying to muster as much hope as I could, but also feeling almost at peace with the idea that this was just another door closing.
Okay, let's fast-forward back to today...I got a message from my licensing specialist this morning that she had (finally) received the letter she needed to re-submit my home study and application to the state and she had just re-submitted it. Literally, exactly 10 minutes later I received a message from her stating the following:
"They approved it!!!!!!! It was quick!!! You are now officially a licensed foster parent!!! Congratulations!!!"
YES!!! You read that correctly!! I am OFFICIALLY A LICENSED FOSTER PARENT!!! Even as I type that happy tears are streaming down my face!! I can't even put into words how happy I am!! After months of training, paperwork, a roller-coaster of emotions, and lots of hoping and praying it has truly happened! I realize now that the peace I was feeling last night was God's way of telling me just to rest in Him and that He would be faithful!! Friends, he is SO faithful!! I feel almost silly and embarrassed that I ever doubted Him!! I honestly don't know if I've ever cried so many happy and grateful tears!! This dream I've had since I was a little girl of being a mom is coming true!! I still can't believe I'm typing those words!! It still feels so surreal!! God is SO GOOD!!!
Now, you might be wondering "what's next?". Well...more waiting essentially, but good waiting!! Waiting for that phone call for a possible placement! Basically, they will call, tell me that they have a possible placement, then I can ask questions about the child (which they may or may not be able to answer), and ultimately the decision is up to me. I never have to say yes. In fact, they encourage you to say no if you have any doubts. The ultimate goal is for the child to be safe, for the child to be happy, for me to be happy, and to prevent any disruptions (a child being moved to another foster family). So...now I wait with open hands and an open heart for the right baby/kiddo to come along!
Okay friends, now I feel like I'm rambling and this is becoming a novel, so I'm going to wrap this up, but I just want to say a couple final things...First, thank you so much to everyone who has prayed for and supported me during this journey! Those thoughts and prayers are so appreciated!! Second, I want to ask for continued thoughts and prayers because let's be real...this journey is really just getting started!! My life is about to be flipped upside-down and I know it will not always be easy!! I covet your continued support and prayer as I begin motherhood and this life of foster care!
Finally friends, I just want to say again that God is SO Faithful!! If he has called you to something, if you are in the midst of one of life's storms, or if you are just searching for what comes next don't lose hope!! (Easier said than done, I know) Throughout this entire journey, even when I didn't feel it and when I thought I was alone and finding it difficult to trust, God was right there in the middle of everything!! He has carried me with His grace through all of the ups and downs, He has proven that His promises are true and that He is ALWAYS with me! And friends, He will always be with you too if you just let him!!
And all of this is why this has been one of the best days ever!!!
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