Eleven days and counting?

Well...in 11 days I am supposed to be leaving for Uganda!  I am feeling a little better about it, but I am still having the same health issues, so I'm still pretty unsure of how that will effect my trip.  I found one of the baby homes we are scheduled to visit on facebook, and they have pictures of all their babies on their page.  Seeing those adorable faces made me remember why I am doing this!  I just want to love on those precious babies so badly!  I think I've been really holding back getting too excited about it because I just keep waiting for something to happen that will keep this from really happening.  It's only 11 days away, but I am still so afraid it won't happen, especially with the health problems I've been having.  No, it's nothing that serious and it doesn't really prevent me from functioning, but it's a lot of discomfort sometimes and inconvenience that may only be exaggerated being in someplace like Africa.  I know I should just have faith, and trust that it will all work out, but it's so hard when I'm less than 2 weeks away and not feeling any different.  Not to mention, I really don't want to be a hindrance to my team.  I don't want to hold them back or interfere with our ministry.  I am just so torn.  I want so badly to be excited and looking forward to this trip, but I'm afraid to get too excited in case something happens.  This is all so surreal.  I have so many mixed emotions I am not quite sure what to feel.  I think a lot of this goes back to another mission trip I had wanted to go on, and then had health problems that prevented me from going.  So, I can't help but think the past may repeat itself.  I am trying to turn it all over to God and trust that He has everything under control.  I realize that He has provided so much in order for me to go on this trip, so I shouldn't worry I won't be able to go.  I don't know if anyone really even reads this blog, but if so I am asking anyone who does to continue to pray for me, this trip, and my team.  I can use all the prayers, support, and encouragement the next couple weeks I can get!  Thank you!   


You know...it's funny how quickly God can change your heart or send comfort.  Just in the few minutes since I've posted this I am already starting to feel more at peace about this.  I don't know if any of you have been praying already, but it's working.  Thank you so much! 

Being Real...

Ok, I hope you don't mind, but I'm just going to be real for a few minutes.  I'm struggling...really struggling.  I have been looking forward to my trip to Uganda for so many months now, and now that it's only about two and a half weeks away, I'm feeling like it's not really going to happen.  I've been having some health problems that are really bothersome.  It's not really anything that prevents me from functioning or being able to live life, but it's really annoying and uncomfortable.  I'm really struggling with just feeling a little defeated and discouraged.  I am trying to stay positive, but have had several imaging studies done and the doctor has thrown around the word "mass" a couple times, so being a nurse that sends my mind into a tailspin of what if's and thinking the worst.  Usually the word mass doesn't signify good things.  I know deep down that God has all of this in His control, and that I don't have anything to worry about, but my human mind is having trouble wrapping my brain around that.  I realize too, that a lot of this is probaby satan attacking me...and I am definitely feeling attacked.  I don't want to let him win, so I'm trying really hard to remember God is in control, but I'm still struggling.  I know some may read this and think "oh she's not being strong enough, or she's not having enough faith."  Some may think I'm not a very good Christian for admitting this.  But, I'm human...I'm not going to try and pretent that I don't have struggles, and that I don't have times where my faith falters.  I am human, I'm not going to be perfect, and I'm never going to be a perfect Christian.  I am just not the kind of person who is going to put on a happy face and pretend that everything is fine, and that I'm a perfect person when I'm clearly not!  I am really trying to trust God, and have faith that this is all going to be fine and work out.  I know God hasn't provided the finances and desire for me to go on this trip for me to end up not being able to go.  Although if that's what happens, I know that is His will too.  I'm going to ask for prayer...for my team, for me and that this will all subside or I will at least get some answers, and for the trip.  I am grateful for my friends and family that have been so supportive...so thank you!!

Show Us Your Singles Link Up

Ok...This post is being linked up to this cool blog I read by a awesome Christian mom who writes about her life and happens to also have a heart for singles.  Here is her blog: http://www.kellyskornerblog.com/2012/09/show-us-your-singles.html  She hosts a "Singles Friday every few months where bloggers can link up to hers and introduce the blog world to themselves, a single friend, family member, etc.  Five couples have actually gotten married after meeting on her site!  So....without further ado...let me introduce you to two great ladies (if I do say so myself)!  First please meet:

My awesome, beautiful, fun-loving cousin Kasey!!

Kasey is 26 and lives on the north side of Indianapolis.  Kasey is an awesome Christian young woman with an amazing career as a Speech Language Pathologist.  She loves what she does working with the elderly and stroke victims.  She has a great sense of humor and can always find a way to lighten a mood and make you smile. 

Kasey and our grandma.

She has an adorable dog (see above) she rescued and loves to death, so dog lovers you're in luck!  Kasey is kind, compassionate, a ton of fun to be around, and just an all around amazing young woman!  She took a week off from work this summer to be a camp counselor at the summer camp she grew up going to and counseling at during the summers she was in college.  She has two brothers and is very close to her family.  She is looking for a godly man with good Midwestern values.  She is an amazing catch and I would love nothing more than to see her meet the man of her dreams!  She is not just my cousin, but one of my very best friends!  You would be blessed to know her!  Trust me!  I know! 

Kasey and her family.

P.S.  Guys...she drives a car with a Hemi!!

Next, let me introduce you to...Me! 

I'm Kristin.  I'm 31, and a Registered Nurse.  I also now live on the north side of Indianapolis. 

My job has given me some awesome opportunities to live and work in some cool places.  I worked as a Neonatal Flight nurse in Albuquerque, NM for about 2 years, and then had the awesome opportunity to work at Cincinnati Children's Hospital for 2 years, before moving back to my home state of Indiana to be closer to family. 

Speaking of family I'm very close to mine.  I have one sister, and a new brother-in-law, and awesome parents who have been an amazing example of a godly marriage. 

Me, my sister, our grandma, and Kasey at my sister's wedding.



God has really given me a heart for orphans and adoption.  In fact I am going to Uganda, Africa next month to love on the orphans there for two weeks.  I'm looking for a godly man who loves children and wants a family.  If you have a heart for adoption, orphans, or missions that is big bonus points too!  

If you'd like to know more about Kasey or I leave a comment and I'll pass on the info!  Thanks for stopping by!!  God bless!

What a difference a year makes!

Right about a year ago I was just getting settled here in Indianapolis and had no idea what the next year would bring! I was still "church shopping" and little did I know that in a couple weeks time I would go to a church at the suggestion of a friend and immediately fall in love with that church and make it my church home!  God has done so much in my life in the last year, and much of it has to do with being part of such an amazing church body with an amazingly gifted pastor who is so real and genuine and humble! God is using him and this church in big ways!! If you would have asked me a year ago if I thought I'd be going to Africa or leading a life group I would have said you were completely crazy!! God has used the past year to mold me and shape me and call me to some amazing things. It's amazing how God can take someone who is so ordinary and unqualified and use them for His will!! I've discovered over the past year he can use even me to do things I never thought I could do!! And now a month from today I will be on a plane headed for Uganda to love on some amazing kiddos! I cannot wait! I'm so grateful and blessed to be part of what God has called me to and I can't wait to see what else he has in store! Who knows what another year could bring!! I say bring it on Lord!! I am yours!!

Lots of randomness and rambling...

I haven't written lately...obviously.  I've been so busy with so much going on in my life I guess it just seems like I haven't been able to gather my thoughts long enough to put them on "paper".  I've been spending time with family, doing things at church, leading my new life group, trying to educate myself on adoption and that process, fundraising for my trip, participating in conference calls for the trip, and then of course working and getting ready to change jobs.  All these things are wonderful things, and I'm so grateful for all of them, but I'm realizing now that I've barely been giving myself a chance to breathe and take it all in. 

 

It finally hit me this week how REAL this trip is!  I am actually going to AFRICA!  Wowzaaa!!  I will admit there is a part of me that is starting to get a little nervous/anxious about the trip.  I know God is in control, so I don't have anything to worry about, but it's all the unknown that I am unsure of.  It's all in His hands, so I just have to prepare myself by being open to whatever He has in store.  I know if He's called me there (which obviously He has), He'll equip me to do whatever I need to do while I'm there. 

 

I have been praying and trying to educate myself on adoption as much as possible the last several weeks.  I know this is something God is calling me to...I just don't know when.  One minute I'll feel like it's something I should be pursuing now, and the next minute I'll feel like He's telling me to wait.  I watched a video on YouTube this weekend of a mom going to Africa to get her little girl.  The video was of their Gotcha Day, which in the adoption world is sort of equivalent to a baby's birthday, it's the day you become a family.  Anyway...as I was watching this beautiful baby girl be placed into her mother's arms I started sobbing...like real fat tears streaming down my face...sobbing.  I can envision myself in that position now more than ever!  I don't know how soon it will happen, but I really believe it is going to happen one day and I cannot wait for that day!

 

I'm loving my life group!  It's such an amazing group of young women!  We're all very different, but also very similar!  We all get along, and have fun together!  It's so great to be part of a group like this again!  I still feel very inadequate at times being the "leader" of this group.  I don't feel like much of a leader at times, but the girls are so patient with me and understanding.  I am just really blessed to have these ladies in my life!

 

Speaking of being blessed...I received two text messages from friends I hadn't really been in touch with much lately that were both so encouraging and uplifting to me!  I love the song by Sidewalk Prophets called "Live Like That"!  The first line always really hits me:

Sometimes I think
What will people say of me
When I'm only just a memory
When I'm home where my soul belongs

It always really makes me wonder what sort of impact or legacy I would leave if God called me Home tomorrow.  Would the people in my life think of me as just a nice girl who did a decent job at being a "good person", or would I really leave the sort of impact I would hope where people would say she really lived her life for Christ, and showed His love in her life.  I hope it would be the latter, but sometimes I don't think that would be the case.  I'm a huge failure a lot of the time which is why I'm so thankful for Grace!  The two text messages I received this week were both great encouragements that maybe I am doing something right.  It felt good to know that the way I'm living my life is at least at times reflecting God's love and His leading in my life.  I'm not perfect, and never will be, but I hope everyday I can grow even just a tiny bit in my relationship with HIM. 

 

Ok...sorry I guess I got kind of deep there for a bit.  Anyway...that's my life and thoughts lately!  Sorry if it's a little random.  My life is random at times...