The little things...

I know over the next few months God will be preparing me for this trip in many ways and teach me lessons sometimes maybe even in some unexpected ways.  Saturday my lesson happened at the nail salon. I was getting a pedicure and thoroughly enjoying it, when the people of Uganda popped in my head.  Here I was pampering myself getting a pedicure when many of the children and adults in Uganda don't even have shoes or clean water to wash their feet in. Many of them walk miles and miles sometimes everyday in bare feet over hard dirt roads.  In that moment God reminded me of the little things...little thing to appreciate and not take for granted!  He also reminded me how blessed I am with everything I have!  God keeps reminding me of these little things and I keep learning. I'm sure there will be many more lessons and reminders in the months to come and can't wait!  I want to be like a sponge and just soak up as much as I can in preparation for this trip! 

Our Crazy Awesome God!

The things God has been doing in my life are crazy!  I am really amazed sometimes at how much I've learned and grown lately!  The way that God brings people into our lives and uses those people to show us things about ourselves that we may not have seen otherwise is pretty awesome!  I love my church and I have just finished going through the membership process.  At the end of the membership classes you have a meeting with the New Members pastor just as sort of a follow up on how the class went for you and where you might fit in for serving etc.  You can tell this pastor is really passionate about getting to know people and helping them become more connected in the church, and helping people find a good fit for them in a place of ministry.  I had my meeting yesterday and was just expecting to maybe get more involved in serving someplace like the nursery or something. Well, God showed up and slapped me in the face (in a good way) again!  This pastor basically told me that they had identified me as someone with potential to be a lifegroup leader of a lifegroup for single ladies.  What?!?!  Me?!? A leader?!?  That was my split second initial reaction and then came the slap in the face...let me rewind a little first.  A couple months ago a girl I've gotten to know at church, Erica, and a handful of other young, single ladies that she had been getting to know all got together for lunch one Sunday after church.  We had a great time of fellowship and getting to know one another a little bit and just had a lot of fun!  After that afternoon of fellowshipping I sort of felt this little nudge and heard a little voice saying "maybe you could start a lifegroup with these girl and be the leader".  But, at the time I sort of blew it off and just thought that at the most maybe I could help out if the leader needed some help or something if that was where this group went.  Ok...fast forward to yesterday...that slap in the face, yeah that was God reminding me of that little nudge and voice I heard so many weeks back.  I knew in that moment that God was doing something and taking me someplace I never thought I'd go!  I have never, in a million years, thought of myself as a leader.  I've always just thought of myself as a follower and someone who likes to blend in with the crowd.  No doubt that over the last few years I've changed and grown and have become much more outgoing than I ever thought I would, but still never would have pictured myself leading a group!  Here I was though, being told by someone that in just the few minutes we had spent together they could tell I was a natural leader.  Then I called my parents yesterday evening and told them about my meeting and they both agreed and were very excited about the prospect of me leading a lifegroup.  Ok God, I get it!!  Obviously You, and other people see something in me I never would have expected!!  And yet again God has shown through the amazing people in my life how He can grow me and lead me places I've never expected or thought possible!  So, here I am starting the process of becoming a lifegroup leader.  Am I a little nervous about it?  Oh my, Yes!  I told the pastor yesterday that I might need a lot of encouragement, guidance, and maybe even some training wheels! Haha!  But, I know that if this is where God is leading me that He will be right there guiding me and holding my hand along the way!  I couldn't ask for anything more than that!

Then there's my Uganda trip!  I am so excited about this trip!  I went to a conference this Saturday that my church hosted called Answer the Call!  It was a conference all about adoption and orphan care!  Woohoo!  Right up my alley!  It was an amazing day worshiping and learning more about what God is doing in the world with orphan care!  I attended a couple break out sessions on fostering and international adoption which were both pretty awesome.  Especially the one on international adoption!  I have been thinking more and more about the possibility of adopting sooner rather than later, and even pursuing it now as a single woman.  It was encouraging to hear there are several opportunities for someone like me to pursue it!  I am trying to be open and just see where God leads me!  The general sessions were really amazing!  Beth Gutenberger of Back to Back Ministries was the speaker and she just shared her heart and love of adoption and orphan care!  One thing she said at the beginning of the day that really stuck with me throughout the rest of the day was that we were ALL there with a heart for orphans and adoption and that this was a "safe place full of people that GET you!"  That was so encouraging to me!  Sometimes I wonder if some of my friends and family think I'm a little crazy or maybe starting to "go off the deep end" a little with my recent consideration of adopting sooner rather than later.  It was so nice to be surrounded by other people who understand my heart and passion for the orphans of this world.  I'm so glad I went to the conference!  Oh and...as a nice little surprise and to show what a small world it is, I got to meet the leaders of my upcoming trip because they just happened to be there too!  It was so fun to meet them and hear about their trip last year a little bit!  It made me even more excited for this trip!!  I just can't wait so love on some amazing kiddos!!

So...in a nutshell...isn't God just CRAZY AWESOME!!  I think so!  No...I know so!!  Cause he's doing some crazy awesome stuff in my life and it's so exciting!!

My heart is growing...

I just spent a wonderful weekend with my parents, who are amazing!  They came down to visit me and spent the weekend with me helping me with some stuff around my house.  We were able to take an evening and go to an Indianapolis Indians baseball game with my aunt, uncle, and cousins which was a lot of fun.  We had a great morning at church on Mothers Day and took my mom out for lunch.  It was a great weekend with them!  I realize how blessed I am to have such an amazing family who is so loving and supportive.  But even as great as this weekend has been, I found myself at times thinking about this trip I'm about to go on and all the children around the world that don't have a family.  Yesterday, on Mother's Day, I found myself in the midst of being so happy and enjoying my time with my mom, still feeling sad at times thinking about those precious kids out there who don't have a mom to love them.  I am not a mom, but as I think about this trip and those kids my heart just swells with love!  My heart aches to love on those children.  Its almost as if I can feel my heart growing in preparation for this trip and the children I will come in contact with.  God has placed a definite burden on my heart for orphans, and now specifically these orphans I will be serving in Uganda!  I can't wait to meet them and love on them like they deserve to be loved!

Heeding the call...James 1:27

For as long as I can remember, I have had a heart for children and orphans.  God has blessed me with a very tender heart from a very early age.  I can remember being a little girl and sobbing when I heard a song on the radio about a little girl who was abused and taken from her parents.  My young heart ached for that little girl not having a mommy and daddy that loved her like I was so blessed to have.  Then as I teenager I would watch the show on the Discovery channel 'Adoption Stories' and again sob seeing those precious children being united with their new families.  So, now as an adult I find myself still being drawn to and touched by adoption stories and orphans.  Over the past several months, I have felt such a stirring in my heart and God calling me to something more, but I wasn't sure what.  I prayed about it and sought Him for guidance, but was still unsure of exactly what I was supposed to be doing.  I started a class at the amazing church I've been going to and one day during the class the question was asked "If money were no object, what would you do with your life?"  Immediately and almost a little unexpectedly my first thought was "I would quit my job and adopt as many kids as I could and just love on them and be a mom."  After class my leader told me about a book called Kisses From Katie about a young girl who left her life here in the U.S. right after high school and went to Uganda to work with children.  God lead her to stay there and she is now mom to 14 little girls.  I began reading the book, and God began speaking to me immediately through this amazing story.  Katie has also started a ministry called Amazima Ministries and through that website I found a link to another organization called Visiting Orphans.  I scrolled through their list of upcoming mission trips to various countries just browsing.  But then my heart skipped a beat when I came across one to Uganda that would be serving in several orphanages including one called Amani Baby Cottage.  I knew in that moment this was where God was calling me!  How much more perfect could a trip be for a girl who is a NICU nurse and works with babies for a living!  I officially registered for the trip last night and I have never in my life felt so excited and overjoyed about something I should probably be a little terrified of.  Uganda is a war ravaged country with an AIDS epidemic, and this trip is expensive, but none of that matters to me!  I know God is leading me there and I cannot wait to love on those precious children!  I am emotional now as I write just thinking about wrapping my arms around those kids and showing them God's love!!  I know there have been other times in my life that I have followed God's will and went where He led me, but never as much as I am now.  I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is exactly what I am supposed to do, and where I am supposed to go and I have never felt so perfectly in God's will.  A friend told me about a sermon they heard where the pastor asked the congregation to find what "breaks your heart for God".....I have found what breaks my heart for God...those kids!!  I know that this trip will change me, and I cannot wait to see what God does with my life from this point on.  Sure, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous about it, or even a little scared, but I know that God will never give me more than I can handle, so in faith I will go!  James 1:27 says "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble..."  That is the call, and I will answer it!  It is such an amazing feeling to know that I am doing what He has called me to do, and I am overjoyed that I get to be part of this amazing trip!  I know there is a lot ahead of me, getting time off work, raising money for the trip, preparing myself for this trip mentally, physically, emotionally, and most important spiritually, but I know that God will lead and guide me through this and I am so excited for the journey!!

I cannot wait to love on these kiddos!!

Blissfully Single...

Blissfully single...is that even possible? I've been contemplating that a lot lately. I'd say that most times, I'm content and single, but blissfully? Probably not. And I will admit there are even days, probably more than I'd like to admit, that I'm really not even that content. There are times I sit at home on a Friday night watching a movie or tv and I really wish I had a strong man to curl up next to and cuddle with. There are silly times I wish I had a man too, like when I find a huge spider and have to spend five minutes convincing myself I'm a big girl and can kill a spider on my own. It would just be much easier if I could scream like a little girl and have my boyfriend or husband come running to the rescue like a knight in shining armor to kill said spider! Then there are times I realize it is kind of nice to be single, and I try to remind my self of those times. I never would have been able to do some of the things in my life that I have done, like moving across the country for a flight nursing job if I had been married with a family. I know that as in Ecclesiastes 3:1 "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens" So, I realize that this season of my life is just a time God has set aside for me to be single. I guess I just never thought this season would last quite this long. I struggle with knowing how to trust God completely with this. The rational part of me realizes that God isn't just going to drop some guy out of the sky into my lap one day for me to marry. But, if I go "in search" of a guy does that mean I'm not trusting enough? I really don't know the answers. I want to trust God completely with this, I'm just not sure how sometimes. I am however, becoming more and more content to wait patiently if it means I will be completely head over heels in love with the man of my dreams someday! I look at some of my married friends, and I see what they have, and I'm willing to wait for that with the right person, rather than settle for the wrong person and not be happy. My sister is getting married this coming spring and I couldn't be more happy for her! She has found a great guy that adores her and makes her happy! Did I ever really imagine my little sister would get married before me, no...but I also never imagined 10 years ago I would have moved 3 times and had some amazing experiences in my nursing career including being a flight nurse. You just never know where God is going to take you. I realize that being single right now is the season God has placed me in and I want to embrace it! God has blessed me in so many ways, so who am I to complain about this one little thing of being single. I have an amazing family, awesome friends, a good job that I enjoy, a great house to live in, what more could I ask for? I know there will always be those days where I will have a "pity party" and wonder "why on earth I'm still single", or "what's wrong with me?" and I think that's normal to an extent (at least I hope it is!). I think about my cousin and I. We are both strong, independent, successful, fun young women, and yet we are both as single as you can get. What guy wouldn't be thrilled to find a girl like either of us, yet we can barely even get a date or acknowledgement from a guy. I'm not really sure why. Although deep down, I think I do know at least in part that the real reason is because God wants us to be single right now. It's figuring out why that is the tough part. I think maybe in part it is to truly prepare us for the men he has for us one day. And I guess that is comforting knowing that God must have someone really special for us to have us wait this long. So, in the meantime I will try my hardest to live everyday to be at least contently single, if not blissfully single!!